never want to be that kid again

yup yup i'm jealous of my material lackings. hmm hmmm
never travelled alone .... wanna do so
never had a chance to drive across the golden gate bridge
a lot of super spoilt teens grow up smart .... they do well in UNI yet they still can find the space to indulge in bodyart, drugs, late nights, fast cars, etc. it's having the best of both worlds 
i wish i grew up overseas and could be an owner of dual citizenships, wished i grew up in the states, if you lived in the states, how much left of that uncertain feeling about the world would run through your veins? i wish i had a super rich mom and dad, i wish i was recieving devidents, but nah, my late folks weren't that money-driven type, i guess u could say, they never thought so much of their future generation, guess nobody showed em the bloody rope, guess a certain side to life remained unknown to em. i wanna be that proud piece of shit that doesn't need substance to be loved. to be in a society where only the rich prevail, anyone lesser would smell my dust. a life i can only dream off, it does not seem to be heading in that direction as my degree does not take me to greener pastures. a holiday may do, and everyone seems to retreat to melbourne, and wheres all the money gonna come from? - to nurture the devil in me. my life would be a different story if i were filthy rich, and not had divorced parents, but folks instead twisted morally. my family is full of rights, principals, values, morals, extremely anal too. i feel displaced in a place called home. my room seems to be my solace, with music blasting through my walls, lighting up that cigg in an aircon room, air refreshener needed indeed.  my room lacks design, i just bought new bedsheets and comforters, not that it adds a lot more flavour, but waking up to orange makes me a tad bit fiery. i still remember my old room at mom's, coloured with posters of my favourtie rock stars, that certainly had more meaning then today. sometimes i feel the need to relive my childhood. your childhood allows you to be free, it is the crucial start of development, your core personaltiy sticks with you through life, it certainly has for me. and i don't really appreciate the child in me. my mom might disown and think twice about supporting me, if she ever read this. i'd think.  how i want to hednositically forget the serious things. i want to come out and play again.